just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
