Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I think I am morally bankrupt
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The Olympian is in my bed
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
