eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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