the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
