Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Is it because I queefed?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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