I just threw up on my dentist
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
