we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
