Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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