"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
