Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
