i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
