So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
