thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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