hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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