you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
