ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
