I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize