Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
