I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize