You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
