So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
