I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize