Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
