"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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