Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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