After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
