Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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