dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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