Christians are straight up FREAKS
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
