Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Then you guys just all showered together...?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He has the fingertips of a God
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