Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
