Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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