Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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