You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize