ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
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