I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
