he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
