perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
