mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
