I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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