i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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