I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just found puke in my bra..
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
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