He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
