so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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