I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
