So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
