It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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