worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
