But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
