suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
