I want to make a zoo with you.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
