So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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