Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I want to fling myself into the sun
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
