It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
