R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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