and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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