What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
