On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
