I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Operation Purity has been aborted
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
