Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
