well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
