so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
