there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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