I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
