well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
