Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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