Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
