im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
high people should be assigned attendants
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
