we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Vodka?
Forever.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize