He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
