I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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