Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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