he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
