I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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