We're like a lot better than the average bears
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
